Always Be Positive!!!

Always be positive and you will succeed in life!!! That is what many personal development coaches, and many of the people around us, keep repeating. But are positive vibes enough to reach success and the life we dream of? Saying this does not deny the effectiveness of positive thinking, but too much of a good thing turns into its opposite. I would like to point out here that a person who forces himself to think positively in every situation can become a prisoner of this philosophy and fail to see other ways out of the hardship he is facing. When people tell you, “Be positive and do not let your frustration crush your resolve and stop you from working to solve the problem,” you wonder at that moment whether you should pretend to be happy and positive to please others rather than yourself. When you force yourself to think positively in difficult situations and forget that you need to understand and accept your feelings of sadness or defeat at that moment in order to get through the hardship, you find yourself burying those feelings and living in the illusion of a rosy life, a beautiful flawless world with birds singing… You may see pessimism in what I am saying, but this is the reality we must accept as it is, and then look for alternative solutions to overcome the challenges we face every day. Positive vibes alone cannot make your dreams come true; they only make you believe they will. Sit at home and wish for whatever you want: a respectable position, a luxury car, a palace from the Thousand and One Nights… Be positive, focus on the positives, focus even harder, and charge yourself with positive vibes with all the strength and steadiness you have, then open your eyes… Has your dream come true? Of course not.

This does not mean you are incapable of achieving your dreams, but positive thinking is not a magic recipe… To succeed, there must be a balance between positive thoughts and “dark” thoughts… By dark thoughts, I mean thinking about the worst possibilities and scenarios, which strengthens your ability to adapt to anything that may stand in your way towards your goal… Be realistic, and do not delude yourself or fake a positivity that could make you forget your goal and your vision… Strike a balance between your positivity and your negativity, because it will shed light on other, new solutions and bring you back down to earth… Do not forget that successful people are those who do not follow a single road, but keep in mind that if road “A” does not work, there is a road “B” as an alternative way to reach the goal.

Finally, I say to you: be positive, and do not forget to accept your emotions, whatever they are. Try to understand them so that you can find alternative solutions. Hold on to your dream, set your goals and take care to stay away from illusion. Then go for it.

Fares Ben Souilah

International trainer and speaker in personal skills development